Dating someone with schizophrenia

12 Oct

Each time he hurts you, he apologizes and promises that it will never happen again or that he will change. Your partner knows your weaknesses and he goes after your most vulnerable parts, hurting you where he knows it will do the most damage. You feel ashamed, lost, alone, confused, numb, afraid, crazy, stupid, ugly, fat, worthless, embarrassed, unloveable, wrong. Your partner tortures animals, is mean to children, or nasty to waitresses.

Your partner will play into this, claiming that other people are just jealous of what you have or are just trying to bring you two down. For example, if someone hurts them, they feel they have a right to retaliate.

And these phantasies are often very violent and aggressive.

They are different from ordinary day-dreams or "fantasies" (spelled with an "f")'.

If a teacher fails them, or a coworker says something bad about them, they feel entitled to revenge.

Or, if they do something nice for you, they feel entitled to a reward, and if you don’t do what they want, they are entitled to punish you. Your partner embarrasses you in front of other people or talks badly behind your back. They might talk to other people about how bad they have it and how hard it is to date someone like you.

As a defining feature, 'Kleinian psychoanalysts regard the unconscious as made up of phantasies of relations with objects.

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They might lose their temper in the middle of a restaurant because they think you are flirting with the waiter. You’re not always sure what the problem is, but things never add up. If you follow what they say, things still don’t get better.

Lacan came to believe that 'the phantasy is never anything more than the screen that conceals something quite primary, something determinate in the function of repetition'.

Phantasies thus both link to and block off the individual's unconscious, his kernel or real core: ' subject and real are to be situated on either side of the split, in the resistance of the phantasy ', which thus comes close to the centre of the individual's personality and its splits and conflicts.

A fantasy is a situation imagined by an individual that expresses certain desires or aims on the part of its creator.

Fantasies sometimes involve situations that are highly unlikely; or they may be quite realistic. Another, more basic meaning of fantasy is something which is not 'real,' as in perceived explicitly by any of the senses, but exists as an imagined situation of object to subject.